Category Archives: aging

My plate is full

imageThanksgiving has once again come and gone leaving behind a turkey carcass and the promise of homemade soup. The boys were with their dad and his large family on Thursday. I sent them off with a loaf of freshly baked bread, content to spend the morning tramping around the golf course with Jeter gathering bittersweet vines (and thorns in my hands) before having dinner with friends. It was a relaxing day.

Appreciation for all the blessings we are fortunate enough to enjoy shouldn’t be limited to a single day on the calendar. How different would the world be if each day, prior to climbing out of bed, we began by saying thank you to the universe for one or two of the gifts we have been lucky enough to be given? Simple things like heat on a cold morning, the promise of breakfast from a well stocked pantry or the ability to hear the rain falling. Do you think about these treasures?

My life isn’t perfect. I could spend my time itemizing all the different things I’ve never had – supportive and present parents, the ability to live without financial considerations, the means to completely indulge my creative interests, but what’s the point of that? I have so very much for which to be grateful.

The health of my children is the biggest gift I’ve ever received. While they may struggle at times, physically they are capable and strong. I so appreciate that. My brother, friends and extended family have given me their love and support across both years and miles. How lucky am I?

My days are busy and brimming with wonderful things. Would I like a steady someone special to share my life with? Sure. Am I appreciative of the fact that I know how to enjoy myself regardless of my relationship status? Without a doubt.

As the holiday season goes into its annual state of frenzy, think about taking a moment to consider all the gifts you do have instead of focusing on what isn’t (a) present. You just might find your own plate is pretty full, too.

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Filed under aging, Boys, family, friends, holidays, love, Observations, Uncategorized

Finally – James Bond gets a woman!


Saturday afternoon, much to their father’s chagrin,* the boys and I attended a matinée showing of the newest James Bond movie, Spectre. We’re big Bond fans in my family, owning the entire collection of films and always willing to debate the merits of the various actors who have taken a turn in the starring role. Roger Moore, the Bond of my childhood memories, is the actor I most associate with the role, but I can appreciate how Sean Connery defined 007 during his tenure in earlier years.

My two favorite Bonds of recent years have been Pierce Brosnan and the current star, Daniel Craig. Brosnan is very much my “type,” blue-eyed and Irish, but it took me a little time to warm up to Daniel Craig. I remember thinking, prior to the release of Casino Royale, that he was too short and too blonde to be James Bond. But that was before I saw the scene of him emerging from the ocean in that blue bathing suit. Somehow that warmed me up, so to speak, to Craig.

Does it sound like I’m objectifying him? Well, that wouldn’t be unreasonable, would it? I mean, it’s only fair for a woman to appreciate the physical attributes of a character renowned for his own appreciation of the physical assets of…

Girls, specifically Bond girls.


Over the years there have been countless Bond girls and, while many of them have demonstrated an intelligence even more impressive than the skin they displayed, they were on average 14 years younger than 007.  Spectre, though,  gives us a Bond female, Monica Bellucci, who not only is older than James, but one who is smoking hot. As a woman of almost the same age as Bellucci, I was thrilled to see a “middle-aged” female actress who had lines on her face, yet was ripe with sexuality. Finally.

As far as the film’s plot went, there were exciting scenes filled with car chases, impossible helicopter rides and explosions leveling buildings on three different continents.  I’d give you even more details but I got a little distracted by the way Daniel Craig filled out his polo shirt and khakis.

*He usually gets dibs on new movies, especially action ones.

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Filed under aging, beauty, Boys, Movies

I didn’t know

IMG_4854 The first time I remember wanting to be a runner I was about 12 or 13. It seemed like such a cool thing to do – put your sneakers on and a pair of nylon, fluorescent colored shorts (it was the 80s) and just GO. I was infatuated with the idea, but, as I’ve come to learn about romantic infatuations, the reality didn’t measure up to the fantasy.

It was early fall and dark in the morning when I left my house to run down the dirt road we lived on. The air was fresh, but my gasping made my lungs feel tight not wonderfully expanded as I had imagined. The distance I attempted, perhaps a third of a mile, felt endless and I found myself walking, not running. I gave up. Obviously, running was not going to be my sport.

35 years later, I’m registered to run a trail half marathon this weekend. How did that happen?

  • I learned that sometimes small steps, be it at a walking stride or a running pace, are the way to make progress.
  • I realized that running is a challenge that I find satisfying. It feels good to push myself.
  • I’ve accepted that there are some runs that turn into walks and that that’s ok. Life isn’t a race and I am committed to enjoying the journey.
  • I have a posse of running friends who inspire and encourage me.
  • I now know that for every step which feels difficult, there are 10 steps that feel amazing. I’m no mathematical genius, but that adds up for me in a positive way.
  • Most importantly, while I didn’t initially know how hard running was going to be, I also had no idea how incredibly happy a good run would make me feel.
  • I know now. I’m a runner.

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Filed under aging, beauty, Exercise, friends, girlhood, musings, Observations, road trips, running, Uncategorized, upstate New York

A rock star Halloween

Gold Dust Woman

Gold Dust Woman

I should start by admitting that the same dark green velvet dress has been the base of my Halloween costume for three consecutive years. Do not underestimate my ability to be creative when it comes to working a pretty gown into the plan! Last night I covered the top of the dress with a lace blouse, leaving the dress to look like a skirt as I attempted to channel Stevie Nicks.

I suppose I should confess right now that, beyond the glittery scarves, wig and tambourine, everything for my costume came directly from my own closet. That says something, doesn’t it?

imageAs I get older, I find myself I’ve returning to my younger years when it comes to adopting a costume for a night. The Stevie Nicks thing was inspired by that biography I read a couple of months ago and, even though quite a few people thought I was a gypsy rather than a rock and roll goddess, I enjoyed last night’s adopted persona. Special points to those who detected the powdery residue on my nostrils.

The front of the house staff at Lark + Lily proved that they are indeed a family, specifically one with the last name of Ramone. They really rock.

imageHope your Halloween was fun and filled with more treats than tricks!

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Filed under aging, Albany, holidays, Lark Street, Local, Observations, Restaurants

The beautiful awkwardness of middle school


One of my responsibilities at school is morning hall duty. I generally bring a book to my post at the end of corridor, but often I don’t read more than a sentence or two because I am so captivated by the students making their way to their home rooms. They are so incredibly compelling in their not-still-children, not-quite-teenagers way that I find myself content to merely witness their passage – through both the hallway and through the critical years of their middle school experience.

Do you remember your own middle school years? If so, is it with fondness or discomfort? In my hometown, Greenwood Lake, N.Y., the configuration of the middle school was kind of unique – grades 4th-8th attended a single building with a two-storied wing for academics and a wing shared by the grades for specials and the cafeteria. I loved that school and my class of 60 students or so. It felt like a safe, comfortable space and I thrived in that environment.

Despite the level of familiar comfort I felt among my friends and with my teachers, I can still recall the sometimes painful moments of being a pre-teen. Am I the only person in the world who was too embarrassed to blow my nose in class? Or who had some unfortunate results while experimenting with hairstyles or trying on different personas?

When I see the parade of kids heading towards me in the hallway, I am utterly charmed by the wide range of physical variations – there are boys and girls far smaller than my 10 year-old as well as students who I have to crane my neck upwards in order to make eye contact. The array of fashions, from sweatpants and leggings (always black) to skinny jeans to pants of a length that my middle school peers would have dubbed “flood waters,” never fails to make me smile.

The fresh-faced girls with a tasteful dab of lip gloss and the lightest coating of mascara are perfectly matched by the boys who have discovered hair gel and their father’s cologne. These kids usually travel the halls in a pack, which maximizes their impact on the less sophisticated students who sport t-shirts featuring non-ironic cartoon characters and hair ribbons and bows. I am equally in awe of those who attempt to appear older and the ones who are adorably oblivious to the accouterments of adulthood.  They’re all beautiful.

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Filed under aging, girlhood, Schools, Uncategorized

48 was great, I expect 49 to be sublime

When I see a reflection of myself, I don’t think I look how 49 sounds. In many ways I feel younger than ever, the result, I think of being happy and healthy and old enough to truly appreciate it.

“Nobody wants to get old but they don’t want to die young either.” – Keith Richards

I’ve had a wonderful year with many unforgettable moments. I’m in a good place professionally in a really positive place. My boys are gaining independence, venturing forth into college, work and on wheels.* I saw some fantastic concerts and a number of beautiful sunsets. There were moments when my life felt so perfect that I could have died with a contented sigh.

“I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.” – The Faces

When I’m 49, I plan to go to Nashville with my best friends and Spain and Portugal with my middle son. My brother and I will be restaurant owners. I’ll challenge myself with a half marathon and a schedule that will be intense, to say the least. There will be delicious meals and lovely wines and I’ll take pictures and write about all of it.

“Never slow down, never grow old.” – Tom Petty

Age, like weight and height, is a number. It’s up to each of us to decide the importance of it in our lives. I’d like to think that the total of my years is a pretty small figure when compared to the total number of moments I’ve shared with loved ones laughing, making memories and experiencing life.  49 is going to be fine.

*Quinn is obsessed with his bicycle and the freedom it affords him.


Filed under aging, Albany, birthdays, Dinner, family

Robert Plant and the Sensational Space Shifters

imageThe first time I saw Robert Plant was at the Meadowlands in the late 80s. I was 21 or 22 years-old and had been a Led Zeppelin fan for as long as I could remember. Stevie Ray Vaughan opened up and absolutely ruined Plant for me. Stevie was just that good.

Since that time, I’m happy to say, Plant has come back to me and he’s been amazing each of the subsequent times I’ve been fortunate enough to see him. It’s like he’s grown more comfortable with himself, with who he is and what his range is these days. You might say he’s shifted his space, sensationally at that.

Friday night’s show was inspirational. Watching a man (nearly 20 years my senior) perform songs that span more than 4 decades, yet still remain relevant, is a pretty cool thing to witness. Catching a reflection of myself in the mirror and realizing that I was wearing an outfit (Frye boots, cutoffs, tshirt) that is probably just about identical to one I may have worn to my first Plant show, only added to the space shifting vibe.

I’m no rock star, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn a lesson or two about aging from a musical idol. Plant’s range may no longer be as wide, but his catalog has depth and with his awareness of his reach, he sounded great. Read this guy’s spot on review. The set list featured many familiar tunes, with the songs reworked, beats a bit slower, sung a little lower. They were different, but not diminished.

As we grow older its only natural that we, too, shift space. We move from being children motivated to please our parents and teachers to adults who often commit to being responsible for another’s happiness. Maybe that’s where we contentedly stay or perhaps we continue forward motion with a partner by our side. There are so many possibilities.

I’ve definitely arrived in a space where I’m interested in being who I am today. Me. I’m kind of done with taking directions, preferring to shift into a different gear that allows me to do the things I find most interesting and satisfying. I may not sing songs, but believe me, I’ve got more chapters to write.  Ramble on.

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Filed under aging, concerts, Music, NYC