It had been a pretty terrific Monday. I got to the bank, took care of payroll for the second to last time and had a reasonably productive day at work. Dinner was takeout, restaurant kitchen linens were in the washer (for the last time) and Quinn and I made it to the Spectrum in time for all the previews. We had flow.
Sitting in the dark theater next to him and watching Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was more fun than I expected. I had fallen asleep, more than once, to the first Guardians movie and I had imagined something similar happening tonight. Surprisingly, though, that didn’t happen and I remained awake for the entire 2+ hours. The movie was entertaining with a likable cast, great soundtrack and gratuitous shots of Chris Pratt’s chiseled abs. It was a great escape.
As the credits ran, I told Quinn I’d meet him in the lobby because I wanted to use the bathroom. I reached for my phone to check the time as I waited for him, post-potty break. The alert from the NYT was the first thing I saw: 19 Dead in Terrorist Attack in England My brain’s immediate response: For f*ck’s sake. When will this stop? Can’t we just go to a Monday movie or concert or sporting event or shopping or church without being touched by terrorism?
The closing credits song was still running in my head and I imagined those concert goers in Manchester. I pictured teenaged girls, some perhaps at their first live concert ever, their joyful exhilaration changing to fear and horror as violence and chaos became the evening’s show. Echoes of music are what one is supposed to hear when leaving a concert, not screams, not explosions. Jesus.
I’m left to wonder – who’s guarding our galaxy?
Note: for suggested soundtrack for reading the following post click here.
Despite my best attempts (hello, hefeweizen!), during quiet moments on this trip my mind has been busy. I suppose it’s to be expected considering all of the things going on – in the world, during this trip and in my life. I had a motivating thought, though, the other day and it keeps rising to the surface: this one very moment may be the only chance. The only chance for what? Everything.
When I was in the Black Forest and the sky was spitting at me, I ran up a damn big hill because I recognized that I might not have that opportunity again. What if I never made it back to that special place? What if I was fortunate enough to visit again but my body wasn’t capable of making that climb again on my own two feet? The moment was now and I needed to live it. I ran.
I had a similar thought in Nuremberg – when was I ever again going to have the opportunity to run around the medieval walled center of this beautiful city? Recognizing that all had aligned to provide me with that experience inspired me to make the effort to put my sneakers on and get out there. I was rewarded by the universe with sun on my face and lightness in my heart.
But, it’s not all about running, even for me. It’s about realizing that we each only get one chance at now, that these exact circumstances will never again be replicated. How do you honor that? Are you guilty of postponing life waiting for the “perfect” moment while this one very moment right now goes unrealized? When are you going to wise up?
Eat and drink
See new things
Spend time with family
Experience a different way of life
How about you?
A few weeks ago, after I shared my plan to sell my business, a close friend observed that I “know when to walk away.” I’ve been thinking a lot about that statement and how it applies to many different circumstances in my life, wondering if it means I give up or move on. It’s kind of hard to say for certain, but me being me, I’ll try to keep my perspective positive and go with the latter.
While I like to think of myself as an optimist (don’t we all?), I suppose the more apt description would be realist. I know that I’m a hard worker, that I will devote my attention, energy and resources into any endeavor that I find worthy and rewarding. But, when the task at hand becomes a situation that negatively affects my quality of life despite all my determination, I can only conclude that it’s time to let go and open up myself to what is ahead. I guess that makes me kind of pragmatic.
Relationships, projects and businesses all provide wonderful opportunities for growth and the chance to invest a piece of ourselves into something we believe in. The potential rewards can be tremendous – love, fulfillment and satisfaction, but, when it becomes obvious that the greatest efforts will not achieve the desired outcome, things often must be reconsidered.
Walking away can be sad and frustrating – it’s really hard to admit that despite how much you may want something it isn’t within your power to make it happen. For me, the consolation is knowing that I tried and that my motivation was strong. It isn’t failure if you learned something, right? Plus, I’m not walking away as much as I’m walking forward. Being stuck would be much more tragic.
Is it just my kids who seem to break the most random household stuff? I’m not talking about the odd dish or glass, I’m talking about entire hanging racks of stemware, furniture and Sheetrock walls. I mean, how do they do it?
The most recent thing to be destroyed in my home is a wall upstairs in an area of the house I think of as the BoyZone. The claim, from my youngest son, is that he was just leaning on the wall and next thing you knew there was a 18″ x 24″ hole! Isn’t that one of the oddest things you’ve ever heard? Seriously – how the hell does that even happen?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I remember breaking things around the house when I was a kid – I put my hand through a window once and have the scar from my stitches to prove it. But, let’s remember, it was glass. Glass breaks really easily. Holes in the walls, though? That takes some effort.
Over the years, there have been some epic examples of breakage around my house. There was that time when my middle son decided to leap from the back of the sofa to the 6 ft tall wine rack, pre-parcore, by the way. The result of this escapade was multiple bottles of wine smashed and ultimately dripping from our second floor flat down the wall and into the first floor apartment. Talk about pouring someone a drink…
This, of course, is the same child who once carried a large branch into the kitchen which then got caught up in the ceiling fan and took down the hanging glass rack, shattering glasses everywhere.
There have been electronics broken as soon as they were removed from their protective packages and eyeglasses destroyed in the most mysterious of circumstances. I can’t count the times I’ve freaked out when I discovered yet another thing inexplicably destroyed. When I look around my house, I see the cracked window, the wall with a hole and some big furniture that still serves its purpose, but has definitely seen better days. What I feel, though, is that I’m home. On the best days, the boys are, too.
Yeah, you. My reader. It’s been more than 7 years, 2 domains and a divorce since DelSo was born. Over the years I’ve shared a lot of my life and self here, in print. You, as a reader, have come to know me on some level from my words. What makes you return here (assuming you’re not new around these parts) and read what I write? Let me remind you of some of what I’ve related to you in the hope that you might feel inclined to share with me – who you are, reader? Why are you here?
There have been so many miles – more plane rides than I could have ever imagined, along with runs and races and road trips. I’ve explored cities with my boys and my girlfriends and solo. My feet have run in a half dozen different countries and probably about the same number of states.
My home has evolved from a house with two full-time parents to one of three part-time children. There have been physical improvements, rooms repurposed and painted, new rugs and furniture rearranged. It feels different. After a refinance or two, I know it’s mine.
I’ve written about books I’ve read and movies and concerts I’ve seen. Increasingly, politics and my dismay with our current leadership have been topics I’ve felt compelled to write about.
My children and the challenges of being a parent frequently provide fodder for posts. While the joys outweigh the frustrations, parenthood remains a roller coaster ride that keeps me on the edge of my seat with a scream threatening to escape. It’s a heart racing ride.
Sometimes I cook or bake and post recipes and photos of the fruits of my labors. Food and wine are a big part of my life and I’ve happily shared my experiences with you. Oh – and there’s that wine bar that I own.
There have been times when I wrote with sadness or anger, but I think I mostly write from a place of understanding and acceptance. Balance and moderation are woven throughout much of what I write.
Health and wellness have been covered and the miracle of menopause has been mentioned. The heartbreak of addiction and the threat of cancer have been present. I’ve learned to ski and have found bliss in pigeon pose in a room heated to 100+ degrees.
It’s all here – my life. Not perfect, not necessarily what I ever imagined it to be, but a life that I feel grateful for in a city that I have come to love.
Will you tell me why you visit my life?
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I don’t understand the appeal of Donald Trump, but I have to respect the fact that 63 million Americans voted for him. Of course, according to Pew Research, that’s about 2.8 million less than Clinton won, but whatever. It’s done.
My question, and I’ll reiterate – is this what you voted for?
- Did you vote for Trump’s draining of the swamp, that now appears to be more a filling of the pond with yachts?
- Are the white men and women being nominated and appointed to the cabinet representing you and your interests in a way that makes you feel confident?
- Is his message of nationalism reverberating for you in a positive way? You don’t find it to be a distraction from the fact that our country is incredibly wealthy but that the few elite at the top possess a portion of the wealth that is beyond a reasonable percentage?
- When you voted for a man with zero diplomatic or political experience because you wanted change, was the type of international chaos we’re now seeing what you had in mind?
- Donald Trump impressed with his blunt words. Were the blatant lies part of the package for which you voted?
- As legal American residents and refugees in crisis are detained at airports around the nation and the world due to the rash actions of Donald Trump, and patriotic and compassionate Americans protest in ever increasing numbers, I ask again, is this what you voted for?
I was shocked and disappointed by the results of the election last fall. Although Donald Trump wasn’t my choice, I was prepared to accept the outcome and tried to be optimistic about what he might achieve. I fervently hoped he would prove me wrong and evolve into a leader who would represent our country in a manner in which I might feel pride.
I did not vote for this.
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